the Sierras are absolutely gorgeous in the spring. rolling, green hills beneath peaks of snow, speckled with pines.

i went snowboarding and cross country skiing up at Mammoth the past few days and then drove to the western side of the Sierras (via Nevada since the pass was closed) to see family. the poppies have started to bloom, and it's warm and breezy here. why be anywhere else?

adjusting to life in the States has been a little more difficult for me than i had anticipated. for instance, the hotel door kept making a deep booming sound whenever anyone else opened their door, and it sounded much like the door in our house in Baghdad did when an IED would go off nearby. i find myself staring at things that never affected me before. i can't really explain it.

getting back to San Diego after this trip will be a relief. i wish i had spent more than just two days there before leaving again. it seems almost like i wasn't really there.

my uncle is watching the new Exorcist movie. it's very disturbing. i don't know if i can watch it. this is sorta a distraction, so i don't have to look at the bad parts. but i am being rude and i should get off his computer.

~ amber


Anonymous said...

So are you use to being called Amber vs. Lt. Matthews? lol Sounds like you are unwinding in a good fashion. Skiing is a nice way to let out some yaya's.

Enjoy yourself and keep your head up, and don't let any stigmatism's hold you back. Remember if you need to chat with someone about your experiences in the Sand Box REGARDLESS how small or big it may seem, you got me and a lot other people who have good souls to walk you though your thoughts. :-D

You made it and now enjoy thy time. Find yourself again and let it be natrual.

Hope to hear from you again.

Peace to ya. ;-)



Always Question said...

Your experiences in Iraq are going to be with you for the rest of your life, but they'll eventually recede into the background over time. Take the reacclimation at your own comfortable pace, and you'll be fine.

Anonymous said...

The Western side of the US sounds like the place to be: snow sports, hiking, climbing, etc.: Lots of open wilderness. I share your sentiment: "Why be anywhere else?" I'm happy for you.

So now you're discovering a few things (or maybe many things). I reckon you were debriefed on this, in which case I will reiterate the advice your debriefers may have given you: Take the time to deal with these things as they unfold. I dont know the precise nature of what you are experiencing, but I do know Amber-As-She-Goes-About. If you want to go right and your mind wants to go left it will linger, even amplify. Common sense then dictates that you not avoid anything, even if its uncomfortable.


Michael said...

I barely got to see you when you were at work; I was on the podium at the time and was only able to say "Hi" while walking by...

It sounds like you've had some lovely weather, but the San Diego weather is behaving itself quite well. Nice sun, slight breeze, birds chirping, and mild temperatures... of course it's supposed to rain this weekend.

See you when you come back.

Anonymous said...

I figured it may take a while for you to adjust back to life in the US, but take you time and you'll soon get used to it. It took me a while the first time, and I'm sure it'll do so agin when I get back next week. Sounds like you've started off right though by going ski-ing etc.
Keep the events in your memory but look ahead to the adventures that await you in future. Believe me you're not missing much here!
Brit #9

Anonymous said...

Well, we won first place at SCIDM.

How are you doing LT anyway? Take care of yourself

Arthur J. Feldeman