this is likely only funny for those who've been to Iraq, but i just had to put this out for public perview.... i picked only the best ones, and most of them apply to myself, which is scary...
You know you've been in Iraq too long when...
~ mortars land near your compound and you roll over in bed and think, "still way off, i've got another five minutes."
~ you actually volunteer for convoy security duty because you still haven't seen the country yet
~ driving around in SUVs with weapons pointing out the windows and forcing cars off the road seems normal to you
~ you see celebratory fire going over the compound at night and think, "wow, the tracer colors are so pretty" and want to fire back
~ you forgot there are colors other than brown that can be found in places other than PowerPoint slides
~ when you go on R&R, you duct tape your child to the roof of your car, hand him a pellet rifle, and assign him a sector of fire for the ride to "Olive Garden"
~ when 12 hours is a short work day
~ when, during a brief, "DIV asked MNSTC-I for the FRAGO that MNC-I was supposed to publish, but couldn't because MNF-I hadn't weighed in, since they were too inundated with MOD and MOI war-gaming the JCCs within the ISF to square us away!" is a valid comment and generates no questions
~ when you start using words like "G'day mate," "Cheers," and "bloody 'ell" as part of your normal vocabulary
~ when the trailer next to you catches on fire and instead of helping to put it out you grab a bag of marshmallows and start roasting
~ when you step into any office and there are 6 Colonels, 12 Lt Colonels, 15 Majors, and 8 Captains supervising the work of one NCO
~ when the weapon buy-back program has become so successful that you've issued the same AK47 to the Iraqi Army 3 times
~ when you cant tell the difference between the sound of an exploding car and an exploding mortar
~ when on R&R you go to Church and wonder why no one is wearing body armor or carrying an automatic weapon to the service
~ you know that you need to run inside immediately after any win of an Iraqi sports team to keep from being hit with celebratory fire
~ you decide that for shits and grins - "lets take a run around Lost Lake at Camp Victory to see if we can get shot at by the sniper"
~ you never worry about oversleeping because if the morning prayer calls don't wake you, the 0430 rocket attack will
~ you decide it's a better course of action to pull your blankets over your head than put on your body armor during an attack -- the woobee will save you and at least you're comfortable
~ a rocket attack isn't a big deal until the crater it leaves is big enough to trip over in the dark on the way to the latrine
~ you go to a social gathering and intermittent gunfire doesn't cause a pause in the conversation