ok see if you can answer this question: In post-Soviet Russia, who - elites or ordinary people- seems to believe more strongly in "the Russian Idea"? Defend your answer, being careful to explian what "the Russian Idea" is and how you can tell what elites or ordinary people believe. AGH!! So now I am frantically looking through notes and books. I have a vague idea what the "Russian Idea" is. Now...who are the "elites" exactly? I'm not allowed to "over generalize large groups of people." This is absolutely insane. I love it!
wednesday afternoon.....usually i'm in AFROTC class right now, amidst twenty other cadets all quickly gossiping about their weekend.

last night i went with Sara and Gloria to Sansui, a Japanese restaurant. it was great speaking Japanese with the waitress and the sushi chef (say that three times quickly). i haven't spoken that much Japanese since i was there in '96. the more i talked the less Russian pervaded my speech. it was the first time i'd ever had sake. it was served hot, and we poured each others' drinks. i never knew sake was so sweet.

today after history i went to Forest Park on my bike. i rode around for a bit and then wrote a letter. it was such a peaceful hour.

i'm listening to the soundtrack of "Brother, Where Art Thou" currently. a truly gorgeous collection of music.

my dream last night was very very strange. the weather was calm, and the lighting was that of how i imagine the white-nights in St. Petersburg will be. it was some sort of holiday, like Thanksgiving, and i was at Tom's, but the meat wasn't cooking so everyone decided they wanted to come to my place. when we got here, my apartment turned into an aquarium/restaurant. then they disappeared and people started walking around in a mixture of mink stoles, diamonds, and S&M. i was scared, and they were all trying to get me to join their "Role-Playing Game." i went up the river for a long time (Mississippi) and then made it to the Ohio river. then i came across a little girl of about six, who kept falling in the water. we were walking along the edge, amidst the reeds. every time she fell in the water her dark curly hair turned bright red, and her childish clothes turned into black leather. as she dried off she turned back to her normal self. i kept crouching down and grabbing her by the shoulders, looking in her eyes, telling her she had to be careful and the the world wasn't as pretty as she was. everyone was speaking a mixture of languages, but we all understood each other. there was more, but it's all fading away as i type.

well i am going to return the movie "Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears" (which was very good) to Elena and then i'm going to Cafe de France to demand i get my money (they bounced my paychecks).

i hope that whenever i die i am calm and willing to go.