it is quite disturbing when a close friend is depressed because of you. especially when there is nothing you can do about it and the best thing is to let it play its course. *sigh* i despise difficulty.

i love Charleston. it's beautiful, quaint, historic. and yet...it's so difficult to get around. i am dismayed that i cannot ride my bike everywhere like in St. Louis. i used to think St. Louis was boring...and now....i wish i could return. there isn't anything here for me anymore other than my family and close friends (of which here i have two). i really think that after Russia, after my hiking trip with Dad, i will go back. i'll get a job and live at Matt's as his maid -- if that works out it'll be great. of course my parents will object "it's your last summer...stay with us..." but i have been here what, three days? and i am already realizing there isn't anything for me to do. i would be more productive at home -- St. Louis. besides...i miss people who are there. although i do not relish the idea of getting a summer job, it is sadly inevitable.

tomorrow i will meet the Blue Angels at Stratford High School. i'm going there for an AF recruiting spiel with the Army JROTC, and then i'm going to meet the pilots. today i got buzzed by one when i was swimming in a pool. it was invigorating. after the Blue Angels thingy i'm going to Folly. i haven't been to the beach since.....last year. that's too long. i must be reunited with Mother Ocean.

i miss Kevin.