7.04.2001

Uncle Larry died Sunday, July 1st. Mom flew immediately to St. Louis. fortunately, as you all know, i was there already ... now i am in Jefferson City with mom, Aunt Linda, my cousin Joseph, Grandma Betty, Uncle Ray, and lots of other relatives. we had to put off the memorial service until Friday, the 6th, because of Larry's sister's birthday and the 4th of July. he donated everything. so... he's not really dead then, is he?

i don't know what will happen next.

i think dad and i will climb Mount Washington in a few weeks. i hope.
i feel bad that my Uncle died... and now Joseph does not have a father. this is the first time i have ever had to deal with death, and i have come to realize that i am the type that stays silent and cries in bed. it's very "Matthews" instead of "Ellis" -- meaning, like dad's family and not like mom's. i'm amongst many women of my family....they do not stop to breathe when talking, and they spontaneously break into tears. very touching. i just can't get myself to join... i have become the hard one, the one who runs the errands and goes running to take breathers.