some days are great, and some days i end up feeling like i got run over by a tank...this is one of those days.
for starters, one of the blogs i've been tracking took a sudden dive... the guy said he was going to kill himself, and it seemed serious. there wasn't anything i could do or any way i could contact him b/c he didn't set up the blog to receive comments or have an email address... so all i can do is sit and see if he waits out the depression and makes another post.
sometimes, when i've got the time (like now, waiting for a meeting to start at 10pm), i browse the net for pictures of real life... mostly on Flickr, where there is a lot of random variety. i just want to see what is going on, to ensure to myself that the rest of the world has kept on ticking... one of the pics was a candid shot of some girls talking in a coffee shop. another was of some kids in a playground. another of a mountain ridge, another of the ocean. one of some ice on some fragile branches.... life has continued, and i just can't wait to get back into the real world and see it, live it. in just three more weeks i'll be on my way home, to sunny California and grocery stores, gas stations, jamba juice, movie theaters and malls, Borders... i'll see children again (it feels like forever since i've been around people outside the ages of 20-60) and my Grandparents. i'll be able to pet dogs and go on runs in my neighborhood, past all the houses and different stylized yards. the future, the "real world" is so imprinted on my imagination that i can nearly taste the Thai food and a good glass of red wine, i can feel the breeze off the ocean and smell the salt and eucalyptus leaves. i'm sure everyone is like this over here, off and on. especially when the days are suffocating and packed with frustrations. it makes coping difficult sometimes when dealing with different personality types for hours and days on end, without an outlet. i have learned tolerance as well as confidence here.