i think perhaps the most annoying thing right now is not being able to access my emails. so...anyone with anything important send it to ambotchka@yahoo.com...

this saturday i went on a picnic.... again i thought i was going to a forest and ended up going to a place that was totally flat, no trees, lots of grasses and trash. as Tanya said, "it's not the location that is important, but the conversation." --- quite Russian.
yesterday i went to Novgorod.... i really liked the monastery. i bought myself a silver ring for $2 that has something written in Russian about God saving me and the world...but within hours it turned my finger black (that's what i get for being cheap).

i am frustrated today. grrr. hopefully it will get better... at 5pm i am meeting Vlad and his friend. they want to celebrate because today is the last final exam (they're going to be psychiatrists). i'm not sure what we'll be doing, but i hope we eat somewhere. i'm starving. right now it's 2:20. i was going to go home, freshen up, etc...but i decided to check out some stuff with Kari...she wants to get a really big, expensive Matrioshka for her dad (he's paying her back). i need to look at tea sets for Claire. i don't know how i'll carry them back, but i'll find a way. tonight whenever i get home i'm going to pack up and see how much room i have in my bags. i still have hundreds of dollars left! this truly shows how much cheaper it is here. i've lived it well and bought lots of things... and i am under budget. if i had been stringent i could have probably survived off of $200 the whole month...that is, if i didn't buy lots of things. i've bought lots of books and videos in Russian so i can keep it going strong when i get back....

started dieting. these girls here.... they don't make clothes in my size. in America, i'm a 10. i don't understand. i haven't seen a babushka around that isn't fat. but the girls my age are rails. does this happen overnight?

ok. too mad about emails. i'll check this one more time before i go home, probably tomorrow... i leave Friday night.

Paka!

thank you, all of you, who sent me the diffinition of "nihilism." ironic that i heard it here in St. Petersburg, i guess.

yesterday i went to the church....the most beautiful, colorful one i've seen. all mosaics. i have an affinity for mosaics.
then...Tanya did my hair. it's very cool.... she bleached the top, and added copper to the tips and around the top. it isn't as extreme as it sounds (or as it first looked). whenever i get a chance i'll send a pic. i really like it, and so far everyone has complemented me. she cut it a bit too, mostly in the back. i felt like Jackie Onassis last night when she blowdried it.

today spent a few hours in the Idealnaya Chashka (Ideal Cup). i love it. i sat by the window at a small table....along Nevsky Prospekt...across the street from the Literature Cafe that Pushkin himself spent many hours writing ... in fact he left from there for his famous duel (his mortal duel). i felt...inspired. i wrote several pages in my journal and started a short-story.

tomorrow a few of us are going on a picnic somewhere south of the city, and then Sunday the Major, both Kelly's and i are going to Novgorod for the whole day on a real Russian tour... i am certain that will be worth it.

i leave in a week. i know for sure that i will miss the sun when i go home.... when i was in Moscow i missed it. night time in summer? what is that? ;) i absolutely adore this city. it's delicious. i hope to return in two years for the big 300th Birthday Party. they're preparing for it already... so many constructions going on.

i am going now... i should be back a few times only next week. i am trying to conserve money.

Do Svedanya....

yesterday was rainy, cold, and quiet. i saw Pearl Harbor in Russian (good thing to do when it's wet out). sad movie, but predictable. all of us girls were sobbing, but we liked it.

sorry to all of you i sent pictures to that didn't work.... i'd fix the problem but my disk is at home and frankly, hon, i'll wait till i get home next week. right now i'm inwardly quieting down... i'm very blase. depressed in a sense that i'm not flying around the room, but i'm not sad.

if it weren't for the gypsies on the train there would be no color. smashed up against dozens of people wearing black leather jackets and gray woolen sweaters with stale-smelling hair is a wonderful way to spend the morning. at least it's quicker that sitting in stop and go traffic in a car.
oh and Matt---- i haven't seen any pretty gypsies. they're all dirty, poor, ragged, and carrying three children. the pretty ones are in Hollywood or old paintings in Parisian museums. still~ i thank them for their color.

going to the Church on the Spilld Blood today. oh~ after that Shaun's hostess, Tanya, is going to "fix" my hair. she says she is good at hair and wants to give me red and bleached highlights. i said sure, why not...it's summer, after all. it'll be a long time before i get my hair done in Russia again. of course, today, my hair is behaving absolutely perfect and looks beautiful in it's natural colors...as if to say...no, don't change me. alas, i have promised Tanya already. i cannot disappoint her.

what does it mean to be Nihilistic? i don't have a dictionary over here. i know that in Russian, however, it is...oh gee it's not in my dictionary. go figure.

today is Thursday. 9:16am. (don't believe the times this things says...they're State times)....i leave in 8 days.

Priviet Everyone! I am alive, and i believe it has been a record...not being online for five days! anyway...
I WAS IN MOSCOW!!! can you believe that? and to tell you the truth, i was excited the entire time. even though it rained. hailed. dropped in temperature.

and yet... (i am going to make this as brief as i can) Moscow just wasn't St. Petersburg. it was a gigantic city that just happened to have onion domes on the churches. and the body of a man who changed history. St. Pete is more like St. Louis and Moscow more like Chicago, i decided. it is ironic that the city built to be "european" is more Russian than the first and current Russian capital. still...i was in the Kremlin. i saw Lenin's body (he seemed less real than Ramses II in Cairo did). i went into the church where the Tsars were corronated (before they went to St. Pete). i saw the White House. i saw the Moscow River, the Bolshoi theater i had to ask directions to my first year in Russian class.... and i took picture after picture and bought many things (i did it all in Russian! you try to barter in another language!) ...

and monday we went to class as soon as we got off the train. then yesterday i slept b/c it was a holiday and it was raining...it's been raining a lot the past week. i'm sure i needed the sleep too. my cold is slowly, bit-by-bit fading... but not gone.

i am finally looking more Russian...i walk around with a plastic shopping bag carrying my items instead of my backpack. my bag is a big advertisement for Winston cigarettes, but i don't care. people don't immediately think i'm foreign anymore and the gypsies bother me less. no one carried backpacks, and everyone has a plastic bag (they don't give you one when you shop-- you need to have your own). also since i've washed my clothing here...they're not as bright. my white handkerchief was pure white and came out of the washing machine yellow. i can't wait to wash this stuff at home. makes you understand why no one drinks the water. it's the color of urine.

and yet-- i love St. Petersburg! i feel almost like i'm in Japan...city with the rain.... i remember when i was little and always had my umbrella with me. and i have to relearn to avoid cars... i got splashed pretty badly last week.

i bought some Russian CDs. i had to get the pop one of all the songs i hear over and over in the stores, metro, stations, kiosks, discoteks.... i know all the pop songs now... you would too, if you were here 2.5 weeks.

that's right. i leave St. Petersburg next Friday at 7pm. then i spend the night in Frankfurt (that should be fun). then to DC, then to Charelston. then i'm sure i'll sleep for a bit. ;)

well i must head off to class. Paka!

haven't been online in a few days. saving money. wednesday i went with Kelly and Vlad to the Walnut Fortress (although he told us it was the Walnut Forest and we were confused until we got there). it was awesome. don't feel like typing much here for some reason. yes i'm alive. tonight i take the night train to Moskva so i won't be online until next week. be patient. my cold is still running strong... i think i'm allergic to city pollution.